glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
