Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
