I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
