My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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