Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A+ Viking dick
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
