Cold hands, warm shart.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
