How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
