she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize