I seem to have left my pride at pride
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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