We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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