about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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