I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
