he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
