Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
