its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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