I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
it glows. i had to have it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
