mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
