I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
