Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
