Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
