I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
