ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?

  Fav 85 1285 7773

  share tweet
  

• (302): View more from Delaware

  So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"

  Fav 72 974 4150

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.

  Fav 12 890 4143

  share tweet
  

• (971): View more from Oregon

  Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you are my hero

  Fav 20 5185 1363

  share tweet
  

• (581): View more from Quebec

  I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.

  Fav 33 1683 6036

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy

  Fav 46 1410 5706

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"

  Fav 9 1436 5801

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome

  Fav 14 1658 1692

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play

  Fav 10 1894 961

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.

  Fav 1 976 591

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.

  Fav 3 638 500

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (813): View more from Florida

  Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning

  Fav 1 95 116

  share tweet
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.

  Fav 0 40 7

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie

  Fav 0 39 8

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (351): View more from Massachusetts

  does anyone know where bryan is?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.

  Fav 0 8 22

  share tweet
  

Randomize