its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wanna passion pit in your ass
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
They took my balls.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
