Sacagawea was the original milf.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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