Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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