just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
