well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
