a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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