He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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