i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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