So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
