God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
