from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
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Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i believe in u and ur pee
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