I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
