WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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