Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Who died my cat blue again?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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