yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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