I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
