Your dad touched me again.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize