need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
