I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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