y did u give ur computer a hand job?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
