I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My feet surprised me
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