Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
