i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize