I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
