i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
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I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
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No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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