Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize