this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
