you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO