did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"