Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.