Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
