Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
