Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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