I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
