i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I believe in your delicious
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You did what with his pubic hair?
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