i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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