Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
