She said her name was "party"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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