I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
