if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
